


Which Way

by Khylara



Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-10
Updated: 2019-12-10
Packaged: 2021-02-24 15:48:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21740434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Khylara/pseuds/Khylara
Summary: Big Show's thoughts before Backlash
Relationships: shane mcmahon/big show
Kudos: 2





	Which Way

  * Title:Which Way?  
Author: Khylara  
Fandom/Couple: WWF Shane McMahon/Big Show  
Rating: R for M/M talk  
Comments: Yes, please either on or off list at [melmast@...](mailto:melmast@...)  
Archive: Yes. Just let me know where it ends up so I can visit.  
Summary: Big Shows thoughts before Backlash.  
Spoilers: Briefly for Smackdown  
Comments: I wrote this before seeing the results for Backlash. I'm  
posting this before seeing the results for Backlash, so as of now I  
still don't know.  
  
  
  
Which Way?  
-Khylara  
  
  
I thought he loved me.  
  
I don't know why. I mean, it's not like he said the words in the  
short time we were together. Shane was careful about that; it was  
always said with a touch or a smile. Never with the actual words.  
  
Wishful thinking, really, for a lot of reasons. I mean, Shane's  
beautiful, while I know I'm a far cry from being God's gift. Shane's  
brilliant, and I'm not exactly the brightest crayon in the box.  
Shane's rich and successful, while I'm a struggling wrestler on his  
last legs. I thought we had bypassed all that, though. I thought  
that in spite of all our differences and all my shortcomings we had  
managed to forge a relationship based on honesty and friendship,  
caring and trust.  
  
I honestly thought he loved me.  
  
I still remember the few times we were together. The feel of his  
lips against mine, the weight of him in my arms. I used to carry him  
to bed like the most precious of cargo, always being very careful not  
to put my full weight on him, the be gentle with him. I can still  
feel his hsnads on me, stroking me to hardness before he straddled  
me, taking me deep inside of him. I can still hear the bed creak  
under our combined weight as we rocked, mingling with my grunts and  
his groans, Shane literally screaming my name as he came.  
  
I remember the look on his face most of all, the sight of him as he  
rode me to orgasm. Body tensed, head thrown back, cock rock hard and  
straight as an arrow. Then, right before he would come, his eyes  
would meet mine, the deep chocolate brown of them practically  
swallowed up by the black. The look in those beautiful eyes of  
his...that look always slammed me right in the heart.  
  
I's usually stay awake afterwards, just to watch him sleep. He always  
had a smile on his face when he was curled up in my arms; he looked  
so peaceful asleep like that. I'd gaze at him for hours, marvelling  
at how someone like him could want to be with someone like me and  
thanking God for being so damn lucky.  
  
Is it any wonder why I thought he loved me? Thought he cared? At  
the very least I thought he was my friend, the one person I could  
count on never to stab me in the back. I never dreamed I'd be proven  
wrong.  
  
And you know something? It wouldn't have mattered so much if it had  
come from anyone else. I've become used to the ridicule, the harsh  
words, the snickers behind my back. I've heard them for years.  
  
But to hear them from Shane...the man I loved...the man whom I  
thought loved me...  
  
And not just the words, although they hurt bad enough, but to hear  
the fans laughing at me... I was made a fool out of in front of  
thousands in the arena. Every one of them thougth I was a joke and  
millions of people watching at home probably thought the same thing.  
Especially when Vince started asking me "Which way did he go?" Even  
I caught the contempt in his voice, on his face.  
  
No, it was the look on Shane's face that did it. That damn bland  
smile, the same one I used to see in bed. He gave me no apologies,  
offered no excuses. Not a damn word. I could almost hear what he  
was thinking, though. "It's not personal, Show. Just business."  
  
Just business.  
  
For a split second, I didn't know who I hated more - the father or  
the son.  
  
They're both guilty of manipulating me, both of them playing me like  
a puppet whenever they feel like it. I've turned from face to heel  
so many times that even I don't know which way I am, and I've done  
angles that the other guys wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole. Both  
of them see me as expendable, another name on the roster. Oh, Vince  
goes on about me being a superstar, but I don't get the storylines -  
or the money - the other guys do.  
  
That's basically why I considered going to WCW. I thought that with  
Shane as boss I'd get a little respect, get my ideas listened to.  
Maybe even get a shot at being something other than a big, dumb  
wrestler. It was a thought, a nice little dream. Got crushed real  
quick that night along with a few other things.  
  
Like my heart.  
  
Had Shane simply been using me to get back at his father all this  
time? It looked like it from what I saw, but then Vince is real good  
at manipulating people. Always has been.  
  
And it looks like Shane has been learning from the master.  
  
Had he ever loved me? Even a little?  
  
Deep down, I knew the answer to that one. Knew how much I really  
meant to him after everything. And if there's no love to tie you to  
something, what's left?  
  
Loyalty.  
  
Because where would I be without Vince McMahon? Nowhere, plain and  
simple. I'd be a nobody, wrestling in high school auditoriums and  
county fairs, going from show to show in broken down buses and barely  
getting paid. Or I wouldn't be wrestling at all. I'd just be a big  
dumb guy struggling in a factory somewhere with a dream that never  
came true.  
  
In the WWF, I'm a name. Maybe not a superstar, but the jobbers still  
get this fearful look in their eyes when they see who they're up  
against. Even the regular guys are afraid of me, especially the  
ones who've felt my choke slam. Here, I've wrestled - and beaten -  
the best, even winning a title here and there.  
  
If I went to the WCW now, after all this, I'd go back to being a  
nobody, back to the bottom of the list. That's something I promised  
myself I'd never be again.  
  
Which way did I go?  
  
Was there ever any choice?  
  
Thing is, it probably would've been different if Shane had cared  
for me. Even a little.  
  
But he didn't. I saw how he really felt that night in the ring. it  
was all on that beautiful face of his, plain as day.  
  
That's why at Backlash, I'm going to do what Vince McMahon wants.  
What I want. I'm going to pour all the heartache, all the betrayal,  
all the love I have for Shane into a beating he won't forget. I'm  
going to give him everything he threw away and make damn sure I'm the  
last man standing.  
  
I'm going to make sure Shane McMahon can't love anyone ever again.  
  
  
********

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